The source of my anger

I’m angry, I’m angry all the time. Anger overwhelms me and fills every good part of me, and I’m tired of it.

And I can blame everything and everyone: my father, the situation, life – but it doesn’t help me or calm the storm inside me.

So, I decide to do a constellation: to get on the felts and find out what the source of this anger is.

I set up 3 representations:

A representation for myself

A representation for the innate inner wisdom

And a representation for anger.

I stand on me.

Until now, whenever I did a constellation, even if it was for myself, it took time for my body to respond and for the images to come up, because I need to enter the field of knowledge and this takes time, usually about half a session.

This time, as I step onto the felt – boom!! I’m in another incarnation.

I find myself in a fight with someone in front of me.

I get mad at him and curse him, and he’s taller than me and curses me right back.

The language I’m speaking may be Spanish, or something like that.

Shocked, I step off the felt.

Even I, with all my experience in constellation work in general and in Karmic Constellation work in particular –

I’m not used to receiving information so quickly, and I’m not used to becoming the incarnation right at the beginning of the session.

I let the situation fade away inside me, and I want to check if there’s another story to this anger.

I step back onto the felt representing me, and again, I’m immediately in another place.

It feels like Russia.

It’s snowing and children are sledding, my son is also playing there.

He dies because of a careless sledding accident.

There is pain there.

There’s also anger at myself, that I allowed him to go play on the sled.

I step off the felt, allow the situation to fade away inside me, and I want to check if there is still another story to this anger inside me.

So, I step back onto my felt.

This time, I see myself in the form of a prehistoric man fighting with a bear.

I was just looking for food but I invaded her space, and she’s afraid that I’ll hurt her cubs.

And again, I step off the felt.

I’m amazed that I didn’t even stand on the “innate inner wisdom” felt, or on the “anger” felt before the reincarnations came.

But it’s not enough for them to appear – you have to work with them, you have to acknowledge the pain that was there and bring them healing.

I set up felts for the three people I was in the previous incarnation: the Mexican woman, the mother who lost her son, and the prehistoric man, and I also set up felts for those who faced the energy of anger/fight/loss.

For 15 minutes – that’s all the time it takes me – I work with each role separately, acknowledging the pain of all parties and feeling relief at the end of the process.

And all the anger and the whirlwind of emotions that I began the session with disappeared as if they’d never been.